


Grow Old With Me

by harrysbraid



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe-Future, Fluff and Humor, I JUST REALLY WANTED A PREGNANT HARRY OK, M/M, OS, Pregnant Harry, a little bit of angst, harry wants a baby, larry stylinson one shot, like a lot, probably a crack fic, this might be a crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 10:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1645673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrysbraid/pseuds/harrysbraid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Harry wants to go through the surgery implant for adolescents with penises, also known as the SIFAWP. He doesn’t want to adopt; he wants the baby to have his genes. But going through the SIFAWP will be quite complicated. And very painful. Harry thinks it’s worth it. Louis thinks its dangerous and life threatening. </em>
</p><p>Or the au set in the future, where people with penises can have surgery and have babies of their own</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grow Old With Me

**Author's Note:**

> i just really wanted harry to have a baby(and i know harry agrees with me). also, the science side probably wont make sense but the interaction between harry and louis probably will. enjoy your reading <3

Harry lays next to Louis, fingers intertwined. Harry looks at Louis’ chest, rising and falling in slow rhythm. He traces his fingers across Louis’ cheeks and nose, wanting to never let go of the heat Louis’ skin seems to contain. Louis’ eyes remain closed as he starts to stir awake.

Louis groans, stretching and yawning like a cat, all cute and soft. Harry has the crazy urge of cuddling with Louis’, wanting to get closer and closer to Louis. 

Louis slowly opens his eyes and turns his head towards Harry and smiles cheekily, as if hearing all of Harry’s embarrassing thoughts. Harry blushes and is suddenly conscious about how fast his heart is thumping in his chest.

"Good morning, my love." Louis says, leaning his face closer to Harry’s. Their foreheads connect. Harry feels sparks fly, electricity running through his veins. 

Harry smiles. Hearing Louis’ beautiful voice is enough for Harry to feel as if he’s falling for Louis all over again. “Good morning, boo.” 

They touch and Harry feels so much more alive. And for the billionth time since they met, the billionth time since they got together, for the billionth time since they got married, Harry feels utterly and crazily happy and in love. He has everything he could’ve ever wanted wanted with Louis: living with each other, getting to wake and sleep next to his one and only love, getting to go on trips and vacations with Louis. The only thing missing are the kids Harry so badly wants. No. The kids Harry  _needs_  to have.

"What are you thinking about? You’ve gone quiet." Louis whispers, as if the rising sun outside needed its silence before waking the rest of the world up.

"Just thinking about how lucky I am, living with you, sleeping next to you. the only thing missing is-" Harry stops. 

"Harry, I know what you’re going to say and I totally agree. But the  _way_  you want to do it. It’s just reckless.” Louis says in a consoling voice, even though Harry is pretty sure he doesn’t need to be consoled about this.

They’ve had this conversation countless of times, all in different settings or different wording, but they all had the same topic: children. Harry wants to go through the surgery implant for adolescents with penises, also known as the SIFAWP. He doesn’t want to adopt; he wants the baby to have his genes. But going through the SIFAWP will be quite complicated. And very painful. Harry thinks it’s worth it. Louis thinks its dangerous and life threatening. 

Louis sits up and walks to the restroom. “I am not having this conversation again.”

Harry sits up. “Yes„ we are louis. I want to go through the SIFAWP.”

Louis darts back and forth, from the toilet back to the bed. Harry remains sitting on the edge of the bed and Louis stands in front of him, Louis’ chest leveled with Harry’s face. Louis steams with anger but deflates as soon as it comes. Louis sits on Harry’s lap, fitting perfectly, and they wrap each others arms around each other. 

"I just don’t want to risk losing you." Louis whispers in Harry’s mop of curls. 

"You won’t lose me."

Louis looks square in Harry’s eyes. His eyes swim back and forth, as if searching for something. Harry feels worry gripping his insides and he pulls Louis closer by the hips. “And how do you know that?” Louis ponders out loud. “The surgeons and scientists all agree that doing this is very experimental and it won’t work for certain people.”

Harry holds onto Louis’ hands. Louis sinks more into Harry’s chest. “It will work. You have to have a little bit of faith.”

Louis slightly shakes his head. “I still think its a bad idea, but I guess we’ll go to the laboratories/doctor’s today and see for ourselves right?” 

Harry closes his eyes and holds Louis tighter, “Yeah.”

***

Harry pulls Louis out of the car. “You ok?” Harry asks.

Louis nods and huffs out a breath. He gives Harry a half smile. “Let’s get this over with.”

They walk through the doors and are greeted by a man in a lab coat. The man holds a clipboard and a file in his hands.

"You must be Harry and Louis." the man shakes their hands. "I’m Tim. Right this way." Tim walks down a dark and cold hallway and Louis holds on to Harry’s waist. 

"You can’t steal all of my heat. I need it too you know." harry says as they follow Tim.

Louis lightly smacks Harry’s tummy. “Shut up, Harold. I need heat more than you. Your big body takes it all.” 

Harry laughs. “How about we share the warmth, huh?”

Louis nods and stands on the balls of his feet. He leans to Harry and kiss him. Harry has to bend down a little and cups Louis’ cheek. Harry feels the air leaving his lungs. Before they got too carried away, Louis breaks apart from Harry’s lips and Harry finds himself quite disappointed.

Louis bops his finger on Harry’s nose and Harry pouts. “Don’t worry Harold. We have time to do this at home. Right now we have business to do.”

"Right." Harry smiles, loving how Louis knows when to take charge. 

"C’mon. I think Tim is already sickened by us." Louis says, puling Harry down the end of the hall, where they can see the outline of Tim’s back.

"Oh, don’t worry. I’m used to couples kissing in my hallways." Tim calls out in a cheery voice. Both Harry and Louis share a laugh. They reach Tim and Tim opens the door in front of them, letting in blinding white lights.

Tim leads them deeper in the building. “And right here is where you get to see the surgery without  disturbing any patients or doctors.” 

Harry and Louis enter a hallway that looks similar to the one they just left. The only difference were the walls. In the last hallway, it was cold and dark. The wall were thick and fabricated with wool and synthetic fibers. The hallway they just entered had windows for walls, so people can seep through and see the work in progress. 

"Wow." Harry mumbles, looking down on the many working doctors and scientists and lying-half-awake patients. 

Louis holds on to Harry’s hand tighter. Harry squeezes back. 

"You can observe the process of the SIFAWP and tell me what decision you have made once you’re finished. I’ll be in the other room." Tim points down the other end of the hallway. "Any questions?"

Harry and Louis both shake their heads. Tim nods and says,”I’ll be on my way.” He walks to the end of the hallway and leaves Harry and Louis to themselves.

They both stare at the surgery taking place down below them. Louis grips Harry’s hand tighter and tighter, his hands getting clammier and colder. Harry tries to give Louis a reassuring squeeze, hoping it won’t cut off his blood circulation.

Harry leans in to Louis’ ear and whispers,”Are you ok? We can leave if you want.” 

Louis nibbles on his bottom lip and shakes his head. “No. I’ll stay.” 

Harry frowns, seeing that Louis  _does_  want to leave and that he isn’t ok. Not at all. 

Harry runs his thumb across Louis’ cheek. “We can leave.” Harry says in a sterner voice. He doesn’t want to see Louis in this much pain.

Louis frowns deeper and shakes his head, more stubbornly this time. “I just…..imagining you down there……it scares me…do you know how badly that scares me Harry? Having to lose you just because of our wants and needs of having a future together? Our wants and needs of having kids together? I wouldn’t risk having kids if it meant losing you.”

Harry doesn’t bother to say anything. He just pulls Louis in a tight hug. Harry buries his face on Louis shoulder and Louis pulls himself closer to Harry’s chest. Harry rubs Louis’ back as he watches what’s happening below him.

Most of the doctors are surrounding the gurney with surgical tools whilst the scientist stand not too far away, clipboards and pens at the ready. The events happening was pretty gruesome. The man on the gurney is lying on his back, and his eyes flutter, opening and closing every few seconds. He starts to make horrified screech that can be heard through the glass walls. Sweat shines on the man’s body and the doctors have to restrain the man with iron cuffs. They sedate the man with some kind of serum and the man’s body turns limp and his head lolls to the side. As if his mental state is asleep and his feelings awake, tears stream down his face. The doctors wipe them away every once in a while.

Harry didn’t notice Louis was watching too until Louis whimpers. 

Harry cups Louis’ wet cheeks and press their foreheads together. Louis whispers in a shaky voice,”I don’t want that to be you. I don’t want you to go through that. I can’t stand the thought and I certainly won’t stand the sight of it either.”

Harry wants to say no and argue with Louis, but Harry looks into Louis’ eyes, looks at Louis’ scared expression. Taking Louis’ shaking hands in his, Harry says,”Ok. You won’t see me go through that. You won’t have to think about me going through that because I wont do that.” 

Louis scrunches his nose and a hint of surprise and hope shows up on his face. “Really?”

"Really." Harry says, gulping down his guilt.

Louis pulls Harry into a hug and sighs of relief. Harry knows that Louis will find out sooner or later, but what he doesn’t know for now won’t kill him. Right?

***

"I’ll talk to Tim about our decision. You go ahead." Harry say, palms sweating.

"You sure?" Louis asks in a soft voice.

"Yeah." Harry’s tongue feels heavy as he said the word.

Louis nods briefly and smiles. Harry feels a knife entering his heart, guilt seeping out of the wound. Louis kisses Harry on the cheek, which made Harry feel like total crap. Louis’ lips touch Harry’s cheeks and it feels like poison. Maybe Harry’s the poisoned one. 

"Ok. I’ll be outside." Louis says. Harry nods.

Tim enters the hallway as Louis leaves. “So, what’s your decision? Whatever you and Louis choose I wont judge.”

Harry sucks in a breath. “Actually, it’s _my_  decision.”

Tim chuckles but a look of confusion crosses his face. “Excuse me?”

"I want to go through the SIFAWP. Louis doesn’t want me to but I’m doing it no matter what."

"You’re doing this behind Louis’ back?" Tim doesn’t ask this. He doesn’t accuse of anything either. He says it cautiously, as if afraid of what Harry’s decision might bring to the relationship of Harry and Louis.

That was the only question that was swimming in Harry’s mind. Harry asked himself over and over, should he? Would he? Is it betrayal? Would Louis ever forgive him? Is the risk worth taking?

But then Harry thinks of the future they would have if Harry made it. When Harry makes it. They would have so many kids running around, so much laughter and so many great memories that will be made together. together as a family. And not only that, Harry can watch his kids grow older, he can watch his kids’ kids grow older. Most importantly, he would grow old with Louis. They get the chance of a family, of a future, of spending the rest of their lives with each, of growing old with each other. isn’t that worth everything? Isn’t the future worth it when you can see it happening?

Squaring his shoulders, planting his hands on his hips, Harry says in his sternest, most determined voice he can muster. “Yes.”

***

Tim told Harry when the papers would come and when the reservation is ready. 

"The papers will come in about a week," Tim told Harry. "Until then, don’t sweat about SIFAWP."

Harry shakes Tim’s hand and knows that he isn’t sweating at all about SIFAWP. He’s just sweating about how his husband would deal with the information when he finds out.

***

That night, Harry goes to bed with Louis in his arms. 

"Goodnight curly." 

"Goodnight boo." 

Harry leans in to kiss Louis’ cheek but Louis turns his head at the last second and they kiss on the lips. Harry smiles and he can feel Louis smiling against his lips and they deepen the kiss a little longer. Harry opens his mouth and Louis opens his. Louis outlines Harry’s lips with his tongue and Harry opens his mouth wider, eagerly inviting Louis’ tongue. Harry licks Louis’ tongue and Louis moans and Harry feels himself hardening. Louis breaks apart from Harry’s lips, as breathless as Harry.   
Louis gives Harry one last kiss on the cheek and turns on his side, so his back is to Harry. Harry wraps his leg around Louis’ waist and pulls him closer.

"I love you." Harry mumbles.

"I love you too, babe." Louis yawns and all goes quiet.

Harry closes his eyes and tries to sleep, but to no avail, it doesn’t work. He opens his eyes, the acronym,’SIFAWP’ burning behind his mind and eyelids. 

"Go to sleep you twat." Louis mumbles.

"Are you sleep talking again?" Harry jokingly asks. Louis turns around and hits Harry with a pillow. Harry laughs. They lay face to face. Harry traces his thumb across Louis’ cheeks, finding it hard to believe that someone as beautiful and honest and true is real. It’s hard to believe that finding and knowing and touching someone like Louis is like a haunting dream and Harry wonders if he will ever wake up. He hopes he won’t.

"I just noticed that your breathing hasn’t changed in the last hour and now I know you have something on your mind." 

"What do you mean by ‘your breathing hasn’t changed?’"

"Oh you know, when someone falls asleep, their breaths go in and out slower and slower, deeper and deeper until it becomes rhythm. Yours stayed the same for the whole hour and five minutes so I’m guessing you have something on your mind right now. What is it?"

Harry hesitates. Should he tell Louis right now? Harry considers that option until he imagines how Louis would react. Harry slightly shakes his head, deciding that he won’t tell Louis. He’ll tell Louis soon. Just not now. Just not yet.

"I was just thinking about the man getting the SIFAWP. Very gruesome thing to see." Harry rubs Louis’ hand with his thumb. "I’m sorry you had to go through that."

Louis sniffles and his face become tight, probably having a flashback of the horrifying thing they had to see. Harry hopes when he does the surgery, Louis won’t be there to see. 

"I know. Very gruesome indeed." Louis says, voice shaking at its edges.

"What’s going on, Lou?" Harry asks.

Louis sniffles one more time. Harry pulls him close, close enough to be able to kiss Louis’ forehead. “It’s just….I can’t stop thinking…I know you want children. I want children, too, but having you go through this pain just because of our wants? I’m sorry if this is selfish of me but I won’t be able to live with myself if you didn’t survive that surgery.” Louis huffs out a breath, tears threatening to spill on his cheeks. Harry wipes at Louis’ cheeks before it actually happens.

"You know if I died during that surgery, I think I’d be the one that won’t survive, not you." Harry says, trying to make a joke. 

Louis chuckles but still have a pained look on his face. He weakly punches Harry on the chest. “I’m serious, Harry. We’ll have children someday, ok? I just don’t think this way is the way to do it.” Louis says this in a soft tone, his words slowing down, his eyes trying to open when the weight of sleep is on his eyelids.

Harry kisses Louis and says,”Ok. go to bed now, love.” 

Louis yawns as he says,”I love you baby.”

Harry wraps his arm around Louis, whispering in the moonlight,”I love you too, honey.”

***

The day of the surgery comes by faster then Harry would’ve expected. Or faster then he wanted. 

"How was your week? Have you told Louis by any chance?" Tim asked once they walked through the doors.

Harry shakes his head for both questions. The whole week he was trying not to think about the surgery, which only caused him to think about it even more. And the worst part is one part of him is screaming not to do it, saying that he’ll regret it for the rest of his life. The other side of him says that the good thing about this is having babies with his and Louis’ genetics. 

"Do you have a part of Louis’ dna?" Tim asks, walking down the two hallways Harry entered a week ago. 

Harry nods, handing Tim a strand of Louis’ hair. Tim takes it with a pair of tweezers, along with Harry’s memory of having to find strands of hair on the carpet floor.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Louis asked.

"Just searching for our wedding ring." Harry lied.

Louis points on the drawer table as Harry finds a strand and places it in his pocket. 

Harry shakily stands up and halfheartedly smiles. Taking the ring, Harry said,”Thanks.”  
"Right this way, Harry." Tim said, opening the door to the surgery. Harry snaps out of the flashback. He braces himself and enters.

A blast of cold air whips his face, making him wish he wore a sweater. the room is bigger, much bigger than it had seemed from far away. Doctors and surgeons walk all over the place, clipboards in their hands. 

Harry turns to Tim. “Where do i-“ 

Tim points to the center of the room. “You sit right there. I’ll take this” -

Tim waves the strand of Louis’ hair in the air- “In the simulator and part of Louis’ dna will transfer to yours and we’ll combine the two with a man-made egg with Louis’ dna and your sperm with your dna. By then, the sperm will swim to the egg and you’ll have a baby. It sounds easy but the progress, as you may have remembered by watching before, is much more difficult. Any questions?” 

Harry shakes his head, body buzzing with nervousness and adrenaline. “I’m ready.”

"Ok. Just lay on the chair and we doctors will do our bidding." Tim steers Harry to the chair by the shoulders.

Harry suddenly finds this surgery highly doubtful. “Are you sure this will work?”

Tim cocks his head to the side, a look of pondering on his face. He turns to Harry with a conclusion. “You know, of all the males we’ve done this surgery on, the ones with the highest amount of love and care for their lover seemed to have an effect on the baby and surgery. The ones with the highest amount of love and determination also tend to have the surgery much faster and less painful.”

Harry frowns, not quite understanding. “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with me and Louis? Or even this surgery?”

"So it seems to me, Mr.Tomlinson, that your love for Louis and your determination would help you through this surgery."

Tim leaves and waves his palm in a circle. The other scientists and surgeons get in their positions at the cue.

"Wait." Harry calls to Tim. Tim turns around. "How do you know? How would you know if my love for Louis was one of the highest amounts of love compared to some of your patients?"

Tim pauses before saying,”These things you can’t really describe. But you can see it. You can feel it in here.” Tim puts a hand over his chest.

At that, Tim leaving Harry to wonder.

***

"Ok we’re going to start in 3, 2, 1, go." Tim’s voice booms in the overhead speakers surrounding the room.

Harry, slightly sweating under his pits, takes a deep breath through the nose. He closes his eyes as the doctors sedate him with a green and bubbly serum. Harry blacks out.

***

Harry slowly opens his eyes, not sure for how long he passed out. It felt like seconds.

Harry didn’t even has his eyes halfway open until he feels a stabbing of pain everywhere on his body. He feels as if his insides are burning and he isn’t sure whether the serum or the surgery or whether Harry should be blamed.

Harry’s eyes fill with tears and he is somewhat glad Louis doesn’t have to see Harry go through this. The only thing Harry wishes Louis were able to do if he were here was support him. But he isn’t here, so Harry has to support himself. Harry sees a flash of blinking white lights, an overwhelming urge to cry forever, thinking how he’d survive, hoping he will. He feels a needle injecting his right arm and blackness covering the white lights once more.

***

Harry groggily opens his eyes again, bracing himself for some more pain and tears. He slowly sits up, surprise at how little different he feels. He doesn’t notice Tim standing next to him until he speaks.

"How are you feeling?" Tim asks, staring at the paper in his hands.

Harry jumps a little at his voice. “I’m feeling….I don’t know how I feel.”

Tim nods. “That’s perfectly normal. For the first few hours, you won’t be able to feel any different at all. But after those few hours are gone. You would be the same as every pregnant person on this planet: moody, horny, angry, and hungry. Always hungry.”

"I’m always those four things whether or not I’m pregnant." Wow. Harry would’ve never thought those words would leave his mouth.

Tim shrugs. “Those four things will be on overdrive as your pregnancy goes on. But more days pass and the easier it will be to handle. Or you can have us scientists undo the process of you would like.”

Harry shakes his head immediately. After all the pain and trouble he had to go through just to get to this point? No. He wouldn’t go back. 

Tim holds out his hand. “Well it was nice doing business with you.”  
Harry shakes it and pulls Tim into a hug. “Thank you. For everything.”

Tim stiffens with surprise but loosens up, patting Harry’s back. “No problem, Harry.”

***

Harry goes home to a note from Louis.

_gone out to get some tea bags. you know how we need our tea :)_  
 _-L_

Harry smiles tiredly and goes to bed, absolutely exhausted and drained. As soon as his head hit the pillow, Harry starts to snore, note in his hand.

***

Harry wakes up to the warmth of Louis on his side. Harry turns around and bops his nose on Louis’ shoulder. Louis hums and turns around, Facing Harry. Louis drowsily smiles. “Would you like some tea?” 

Harry nods. 

Louis nods and pecks Harry’s cheek. Harry smiles, feeling his heart flutter higher and faster in his chest until it feels as if he can’t breathe anymore. Harry sits up and immediately feels nauseous. He feels something cold and slimy climbing up inside throat. Before he has time to crawl to the bathroom, He hurls his breakfast on his lap. Harry coughs, cold sweat beading his forehead. Harry suddenly remembers what Tim said before Harry left the building. The surgery comes with a catch, Harry remembers. The symptoms show earlier by a few days, hours at most. Harry hoped he would be the lucky one and have the symptoms show by a few days. Obviously, Harry is not one of those lucky ones. As Harry doubles over, he hears footsteps.

"Harry?" Louis looks at the barf on Harry’s lap. He runs in the bathroom and grabs a towel. "Oh, Harry, what happened?"

Harry heaves out more barf,  _thinking no no no I can’t tell him I can’t not just yet._

"I just… don’t feel well…." Harry says, voice raspy.

"Oh, love…." Louis says, cleaning up the vomit. Louis kisses Harry on the cheek. "You know if my kisses were magical and were able to make this sickness go away, I would never stop kissing you."

Harry weakly smiles, even as he feels more vomit coming up his throat. “Your kisses are magical no matter what healing powers they give.” Harry coughs, chunks of his breakfast burrito making an appearance. Louis groans, and a high pitched sound comes from the kitchen. 

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck," Louis chants, running to the kitchen. The noise stops abruptly, stopping Harry from having a headache. 

Louis comes in the room with a steaming mug of tea in his hand, a clean towel in the other. Louis hands Harry the mug. “Here. I hope my tea is as magical as my kiss.”

Harry looks at Louis eagerly, puppy dog eyes and pout to the max. “Thanks, boo.” 

Louis smirks. “I won’t kiss you until you clean that dirty mouth of yours.”   
Harry obeys and stands but immediately feels sick. He sits down again, hand on stomach.

"Harry, lay down. Just drink your tea. I’ll clean up and then I’ll kiss you ok?" Louis says, all humor in his voice gone, replaced with concern. Harry only manages a slight nod. 

By the time Louis finishes cleaning up, Harry is three-fourths finished with his tea. Louis sits next to Harry,their thighs touching, and Louis puts his head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry kisses the top of Louis’ head.

"Thanks for cleaning up my mess babe." Harry mumbles on Louis’ hair.

"Well you weren’t going to do it yourself so obviously I had to do it." Louis says. Harry playfully shoves Louis with little energy he has left. Louis chuckles and adds,"I’m kidding. I’m only kidding."

Harry finishes his cup of tea and sets it down on a nearby table. Harry yawns and Louis says,”C’mon Harry. sleep. I don’t want you barfing anymore.” Louis smiles, but his eyes tells the story: Louis is absolutely worried. 

Louis tucks Harry in and Harry pouts. “I need your magical kiss.”

Louis leans close and whispers,”My magical tea isn’t enough for you?”

Harry smiles, feeling as if at least half of his energy has been restored. “I need your magical kiss, too.”

"Oh you greedy boy." Louis leans closer and pauses.

Harry smiles so wide he feels as if his face might rip in half. “I’m only greedy when it comes to you.”

Louis smiles deviously and kisses Harry on the cheek, then the other cheek, then the chin, forehead, nose, and finally the lips. The kiss on the lips last the longest and feels like a lifetime. Louis stands straight and a smug smile takes place. “Better?”

harry smiles too, a little less devious and more like a dork in love. “Much better.”

***

The next few days, Harry has been a mess. A mess of barfing and crazy hormones and mood swings and cravings. Tim told harry that by doing the SIFAWP, the symptoms of pregnancy will come by sooner. What Tim didn’t say was all at once. 

Harry shakes his head. Ok, not all at once, but it sure felt like it with the small amount of time it took.

Harry stayed at home, dismissed work indefinitely. Louis stayed home too, not wanting to leave his baby at home. 

"Why won’t you just leave me be?" Harry whined, not wanting his pregnancy getting in the way of his as well as Louis’ work.

"Because I don’t want my baby to be home alone, all sick and miserable." Louis kissed Harry’s clammy forehead and that sealed the deal. Louis was staying home, whether or not Harry liked the idea.

Harry  _did_  like the idea, for a little while. They watched a movie and cuddled while watching it. Louis made his Yorkshire tea and shared with Harry. they kissed a few times and Harry felt young again. Being pregnant is enough to make anyone feel old. And hungry.

"Louisssssss." Harry said once the movie was over.

"What is it, love? Feeling the vomit coming up again?" Louis takes out a towel by his lap. "Because I’m ready this time."

Harry cackles. “No no it’s not that. I’m feeling a lot better now, thank you.” Harry smiles.

"If that isn’t it then what is?" Louis asks, crinkles by his eyes.

"Just…I’m craving something sweet." Harry says, squinting a little.

Louis gestures to his body and wiggles his eyebrows. “But aren’t i sweet?”

Harry barks out a laugh. “Of course I think you’re sweet. Just not something I would eat.”

Louis giggles and sits up. He leans and bites Harry on the neck and Harry groans. Harry mumbles on Louis’ lips, slightly breathing heavily. “Ok, well, maybe not yet.” Louis laughs and walks to the kitchen. 

Louis comes back with a handful of chocolate bars. He stops and stares at Harry, realization, confusion and a little bit of recognition shows on his face. Harry’s heart pumps faster, afraid that Louis figured out. Louis shakes his head and places the bars on Harry’s lap. “What is it?” Harry says cautiously, trying his best to keep out the fright in his voice.

"I just had this thought. Nevremind it, sugarplum." Louis kisses Harry’s cheeks and lays back down on the couch.

After watching boring tv shows that didn’t catch a-fifth of Harry’s attention, Louis mumbles,”I’m heading to bed.” Louis holds out his hand for Harry to hold. “Come and join me?”

Harry grabs hold of Louis’ hand, their anchor and rope tattoo lined up.

They walk to bed, Louis guiding Harry slowly. Harry laughs. “I’m fine now Louis. I don’t feel nauseous anymore. Don’t worry about me.” 

Louis stops right in front of the door to their bedroom. His eyes are filled with worry, his eyebrows creased together. “I can’t stop worrying Harry. This is about  _you_  we’re talking about.” 

Harry wraps his arms around Louis, his fingers rubbing tiny circles on Louis’ back, Louis’ face smothered by Harry’s chest. “I’ll be fine, Louis. you can’t spend the rest of your life worrying about me.”

"I can when I spend the rest of my life with you." Louis mumbles, his breath warming Harry’s chest as well as the rest of his body.

Harry’s breath catches as Louis said the word,’when’. And right there, Harry wanted to tell Louis. He gathers his courage one by one, taking in deep breaths through the nose before opening his mouth and saying,”I have-“

"Wait." Louis cuts off. "I need to say something first." Louis pauses and Harry nods for Louis to go on. "Ok since you’re feeling so much better, i think we should go out to dinner and celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Harry repeats. anxiety creeps up his spine. He wants to tell Louis but now it seems that he can’t.

"Yes, you idiot. Celebrate. Or we can go to In-N-Out if you prefer." 

"I would love to go out in a fancy dinner with you." Harry says.

"Thought so." Louis walks to the bed, pulling Harry along with.

Harry lies in bed, finally deciding that he will tell Louis at dinner.

***

"Come on! Get in you stupid button!" Harry shouts, trying to get the button inside the button hole. Harry takes off the tux and stares at the mirror, mouth gape. a tiny baby bump forms on Harry’s tummy. "Shit." Harry gulps. He needs to tell Louis, pronto. Harry eyes the tux in his hands. But first, he has something else to do at the moment.

Harry orders a slightly bigger tux quickly and drives to the store to pick it up. 

"Will that be all, sir?" the man behind the register asks. 

Harry nods. “Thank you for this. On such short notice, too.” 

"It’s no problem, mate. ls it for an anniversary or something?" 

"No, just have something important to announce." 

"Whatever it is, I wish you all the luck." 

"Thank you." Harry smiles once more before leaving the store.

***

Harry pulls out the chair for Louis to sit on. 

"Why thank you, Harry. Always the gentleman I’ve learned to love." Louis says.

Harry smiles. “I thought my charms were the ones that got to you.”

Louis crinkles his nose and shakes his head with a slight smile on his face. “Ok, your charms had me at first, but then came your gentleman side which I also love.”

They order their food and play footsies with one another. They giggle and laugh and Harry tells his stupid jokes and Louis replies with his sarcastic remarks but harry knows that Louis loves his jokes no matter how stupid so he continues on.

Louis every now and then, purposely moaning after few bites of his spaghetti. Harry feels himself hardening and says,”You’re such a tease, Lou.” Harry smears his finger with sauce and slowly licks his fingers, making sure Louis saw his tongue all over his index finger.

Louis bites his bottom lip and leans back saying,”It seems I’m not the only one who’s a tease.”  Harry beams, sure his dimples are crescent shaped, but he dims a bit, remembering the information he has to tell Louis,

"Harry, I’ve thought about what you’ve said." Louis says after a short moment of silence.

"What did I say?" Harry asks.

"You wanted to do the SIFAWP. and I was selfish and just wanted to keep you safe but we’ll never know if we never try right? And it’s not like i can hold you back from doing what you want to do. So yes, I agree. go through the process of SIWAWP." Louis smiles and holds out his palms, as if expecting a huge, grand "hooray" coming from Harry. But all he received was silence. Louis’ hands sink to his lap. 

"I need to tell you something." Harry mumbles.

Louis crosses his arms. “I’m listening.”

Harry takes a breath, thinking that Louis already heard without having Harry say anything. “I’ve already done the surgery.”

Louis’ nose flares out, his gray eyes a storm. In a low voice, low enough for Harry to hear, Louis says,”I knew it.”

"You knew?" Harry asks.

Louis scoffs, making Harry feel like a knife has sliced his heart. “I  _knew_? I knew for quite a while. I knew all along, but I just doubted myself. C’mon Harry you have to give me more credit.” Louis’ words are humorous, but he says it in a cold voice.. 

Harry wanted to apologize. He wanted to beg for forgiveness. He wanted anything but the cold shoulder Louis is giving him. But Louis deserves more than an apology. He deserves the truth. Harry opens his mouth with nothing coming out. His eyes wet with tears threatening to spill. 

"You didn’t think I noticed? You didn’t think that I noticed the nausea? The cravings? The growing bump? When you ‘looked for you wedding ring?’ All of the crazy ass mood swings that you got out of nowhere? Need me to go on?" Louis pauses, eyes as cold as ice. Harry looks away. Louis goes on, not needing Harry to say anything at all. "I’m not even angry that you did that surgery. I’m actually glad you did it, so I won’t have to see you in that pain. What I’m angry about is how you went behind my back. What were you thinking?"

Harry didn’t think he was able to find his voice, surprising himself when he said,”I was just thinking about how I needed a family with you. How I  _needed_  a family with you, Louis. I don’t think i was thinking but the only thoughts that were running through my mind were I need these kids because I want kids with me and my lovely husband’s dna and I would go through he pain just for him, for our kids, for our future. _That_  was what got me through the surgery.”

Harry bursts out crying and Louis wipes a few tears of his own. “Wow. The hormones are really getting to you, huh?” Louis asks, his voice and eyes much warmer and softer then a minute before.

Harry nods, hands covering his face, sobs heard from all over the restaurant. people turn to see where the sobs come from. Louis walks to Harry, hugging him. Louis kisses Harry’s head and whispers,”I love you, You know that? No matter what you do, I will always love you.”

Harry nods again and sniffles. “I’m sorry I went behind your back. I promise I won’t do it again. ever.”

Louis squints at Harry as if not believing him. He crosses his arms, eyes cold, and Harry panics, wondering if he lost his chance at a future with Louis. Louis uncrosses his arms and his face loosens. He grunts. “I can’t stay mad at you.” Louis kisses Harry’s tears one by one, Harry laughing until his rolling tears have a new purpose. 

"Look, happy tears!" Harry says, pointing at the glistening tears on his cheeks. 

Louis giggles. “See, that’s another reason why I can’t stay mad at you. You’re too cute and so charming.”

Harry blushes. “I’m so glad my charms have such a huge effect on you. i don’t think I would survive without them.”

Louis lightly pushes Harry and Harry laughs.

"I don’t think I would survive without you  _or_  your charms.”

Louis bends down so his eyes are level with Harry’s belly. Louis places has hands on Harry’s belly and Harry covers Louis’ hand with his. “I can’t wait to raise these kids.”

Harry chuckles through the tears and Louis wipes them away with his thumb. Harry clears his throat and says,”I can’t wait to raise them with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i promise i am trying my best to write even with my busy schedule. i cannot thank you guys enough for reading or even looking over my work. love you all <333


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